"Don't you love her enough?"

This is something that I have been thinking about for a long time. And it is something that I don't know if I will ever be sure about, and something that I have a hard time sharing, putting into words directly. So here is a story that I hope explains what I wonder about.

The story itself is fictional, but the situation that is portrayed is one that I feel embodies a lot of the concerns and questions that I know I have about life and relationships, and yes, love. And I don't think I'm the only one who wonders about them. . .

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Two friends were walking in a park on an early spring day. And as they talked about sports and their plans for the summer, birds sang in the trees and a small group of ducks swam in a nearby pond.

After a moment of silence one said to the other. "I'm in love."

His friend looked up. "When did this happen?" He asked, eyes widening slightly at the news.

"It's been coming for a long time, I think." The first replied. He looked down at the still winter-brown grass and stuck his hands in his pockets. He shrugged. "We met a while ago. And even from the beginning I felt like there was something special about her. But I was distracted by other things. I wasn't paying attention. But I know it now." He looked back up, and his friend couldn't help but smile.

"Have you asked her out?"

"No." He looked back down at the grass.

"Why not?"

"Well. I think she likes someone else."

"You think. Do you know?" His friend asked, half a chuckle escaping his mouth.

He looked up and saw that his friends smile was waning. "I'm pretty sure. And I haven't been wrong before."

"You should ask her out." His friend said as he put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't you love her enough to risk that?"

"Of course I do!" He responded. "But I also love her enough to let her go. To let her be happy with someone else, if that is what will make her happy." He looked up and into his friends eyes, "I love her enough to be happy that she is happy, even if it isn't with me." His vision blurred as he said it, and he could feel his stomach tighten.

His friend's face softened, and his smile was gone. He let his hand drop. "Do you really? Or are you just saying that to try and deal with the loss? To deal with the fact that she might, might!, reject you? Are you giving up before you even try?"

He brought his hands to his face, trying to hide behind them. "I don't know. I don't know." He said as he failed at holding back the tears. "I don't know."